The great outdoors, where kids can smell fear.

For the past week, I have been down with a dreadful case of the flu. Awful stuff. I was all snot nosed and coughing. I thought I would never get better. For the past week, I have been longingly looking outside, envying the birds and the bugs and various other dirty creatures (we'll just call them children) and they're freedom to prance around outside.

Finally, I have recovered, and so my father took me out of the house, the first time in over a week, to celebrate my successful battle against this nasty sick germ.

But it wasn't too long before I realized I wanted to go back in. My father and I ventured over to the local Taco Bell for dinner. A rather nice employee was working the register today. He was nice, you see, for I have been there so much he has memorized my order. And that is kind of sad.

After placing our orders and sitting at a secluded table of my choosing in a corner, another family trotted in behind us, a man and his three daughters. Two of the daughters sat down at a table near to ours, and I noticed one of them, no older then 12 at the most, was wearing an outfit that she was much to young to be wearing, and her attitude unfortunately matched it.

Her older sister sat down at one side of the table, and the younger began to harass her using various methods such as getting her face, moving across the table, etc. The more I watched her, the more I wanted the pleasure of wrapping my hands around her tiny throat.

After observing her actions through the duration of my visit, I noticed that she would not sit in her chair, and the father was not disciplining her. She was running around, being loud, being obnoxious, and sticking her booty out in a way that such a young girl should not even know how to do. It had become apparent that I needed to leave, otherwise the small Mexican fast food joint was going to be splattered with pre-teen slut.

I had then realized that it would be my destiny to destroy all young girls in slutty clothing, to rid the world of their presence and to cleanse the land of their stupidity. I would be a hero, a saint. I would be forever known as Fulala the Conqueror! Satreenana the Great!

Or, I would just never come out of my room again.